Does anyone else make dumb mistakes? Not something like last week you put a little too much salt in the cookies, I mean really dumb mistakes. Well, I do. In fact, it's a very strange day indeed when I don't. So, of course, I did something pretty stupid today.
If you didn't already know, I suck at flirting. It isn't exactly my favorite, either. It's misleading, nasty, and insincere. You know those "romances", where two people meet, exchange numbers, and immediately fall in love after winking at each other a few times? Can't stand them. Those are what I call Fake Romances. That NEVER happens in real life. That's why I love Jane Austen novels so much, because they are full of real romances.
Well, what I like to do whenever I fancy someone, is become better friends with them. I know it just sounds like another way of flirting, but I try to go into it with no romantic feelings. I treat them like I would any other guy. Well, I've been trying to do that with my current fancy, but it hasn't turned out so well. Ingrid Michealson puts it so eloquently in her song Die Alone:
I'm just a stranger, even to myself
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf
Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him
Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him
.....................................................
What have I become?
Something soft and really quite dumb
'Cuz I've fallen, oh, 'cuz I've fall-fallen, oh 'cuz I've fall-fall-fallen
So far away from the place where I started from
Of course I don't really love him, I'm just a teenager. But I do some pretty stupid things around him. For example, today. At lunch, I sat near him and noticed that he peels the crust off his sandwich, eats the crust, then brakes the sandwich apart as he eats it, just like I do. I was freaking out in my mind, and apparently I expressed that. I say, "Hey, I do that same exact thing!" He just looks at me kinda awkwardly while his cousin goes on some tangent on how he peels the crust with his mouth while I peel the crust off with my hands. Talk about awkward.
But that was not nearly as bad as what happened in ballroom. No, that was awkward. So I was trying to think of something to say as we were dancing pretty silently, as we usually do. Mrs. Mullen was excusing us when I suddenly blurt out, "Have you always peeled the crust of your sandwiches?" I'm so glad that there were no mirrors around, so I couldn't see how much I was blushing. He just did that same awkward laugh from lunch and said, "No, not always. Thank goodness ballroom is the last class of the day, otherwise, I think I would have died. Another song, Breathe by Anna Nalick also describes me today.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you'd only try turning around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
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